The ME Is Not Selfish
Dec 01, 2025In today’s culture, the phrase “It’s all about me” is often a critique of selfishness. But in the context of leadership and murmuration, ME means something very different. It is not self-centered—it is self-responsible.
Michael Cottam used the metaphor of a marching band: each musician must play their part well for the performance to succeed. Sometimes a trumpet plays a solo, but then they step back into the ensemble.
The ME isn’t about taking over. It’s about being prepared to contribute.
Kathy Hagler and Robin Graham emphasize that ME is the foundation. Without a strong ME, there is no WE. If individuals don’t know their patterns, beliefs, and connections, the group cannot perform in harmony.
A flock of starlings depends on each bird knowing how to fly and respond. A symphony depends on each instrument playing in tune. A team depends on each member bringing their authentic self.
Focusing on ME ensures that when you join a group, you don’t throw others off balance. You are steady, prepared, and authentic. This is the opposite of selfishness. It’s a commitment to responsibility.
So the next time you hear someone say “It’s not about you,” remember: sometimes it is. Not in the sense of ego, but in the sense of preparation. The ME is the essential first step in building a leaderful WE and an inspiring US.
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